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Holiday Fruit Cake Recipe

Ingredients & Directions


1 c Water
1 c Sugar
4 lg Eggs
2 c Mixed Dried Fruit
1 ts Baking Soda
1 c Brown Sugar
1/4 c Lemon Juice
1/2 c Mixed Nuts
1 Bottle Whiskey; Jack
-Daniel’s
Salt; To Taste
4 c All-Purpose Flour; Sifted
1 c Butter; Room Temperature

1. Take a large mixing bowl. Sample the whiskey to check for quality.

2. Check the whiskey again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour
one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on electric mixer, beat one cup of
butter in the bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.

3. Make sure the whiskey is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the
mixer. Break two leggs and add to the bowl and then chuck in the cup of
dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the
beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.

4. Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of
salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whiskey. Now sift the lemmen juice
and strain for nuts. Add one table. And a spoon. Of sugar or somefling.
Whatever you can find.

5. Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Dontt forget to beat
on the turner. Thfrow the bowl out the window, check the whiskey agin and
go to bed.

NOTES : A recipe for the truly brain dead. Approved by the U.S. House of
Congress

Yields
1 Servings

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As a passionate explorer of the intersection between technology, art, and the natural world, I’ve embarked on a journey to unravel the fascinating connections.
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Recent Posts

  • All Posts
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